Barbecue and Mojitos

"Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language."

Henry James

Hello blog fam! I don't really have much to say(although I should have) but I didn't want to leave that somber post up for too long... knowing that negativity breeds negativity and everything... This is just a fun post about random things that are crossing my mind at random times... enjoy. ;-)

I had this huge crush on a blogger... and then pouf! he disappeared. I wonder what happened? I miss his witty, dry humor. Anonymous crush of mine, if you read this, you'll know who you are. Please come back? Thank you very much.

I wonder what to get for my sister's birthday. It's next week. We are going to a nice little retreat with some other friends in Galveston. We rented a beach house, and plan on attending the festival then stay up all night playing board games. Should be fun. I am thinking of getting her a new phone... or maybe I should just help with her car down payment. I don't know. I have less than a week. No pressure. :)

I am starting school next monday. Not looking forward to it at all. But it is what it is. I have never been unhappy with school, I need to check what's going on there.

Again, I'm in the middle of those cycles when all people you haven't talked to in ages, suddenly come back to like and blow your phone. Dude, yes I am okay and doing fine, how many times are you going to ask that? And no I am not going to have drinks with you. Thanks much.

I am in such a shopping mood! Like I want to completely redo my closet and buy new kitchen ware, and buy new home decor, and, and... *sigh* How I wish I had an endless supply of money. Lol!

My mother had a girls' day on her birthday! Her sisters and nieces (my older cousins) organized the whole thing.... and she had no idea! My dad stayed a little bit but then was certainly overwhelmed by all the oestrogen (although he should be used to it by now with 4 daughters :)) and left. They ate, drank (the lushes), watched old pictures and videos. Generally had a blast as we were told. Apparently, the highlight was SulaMate showing up with a cake (unbeknownst to me)... Lol! I know my mother was glowing... A perfect occasion to finally gloat about her son-in-law... Bless her heart. :D

Meanwhile, my sisters- younger oh! - want to shame me. See these yeye girls trying to go past me na. I no gree oh. So my sister right after me (the one who lives in Montreal) has closed in on her Master's... and, wait for it, is starting a phD program in the fall. Haba! Can she rest sef? Lol! The other one I live with is on the brink of being accepted into her dream program for a phD as well.... The baby is in pre-pharm... Of course, their father is ecstatic... Lol! As he should. They are shaming me but there is nobody I love more than those little rugrats. They are my babies, and I am so proud of them. Now, I'll have to get a Doctorate too? See me see wahala.

Last week-end was so beautiful.... Sunny, breezy, cool. I wore sundresses, linen pants, sandals, had coral nail polish on... It's definitely summer and I am loving it.

I seriously need to get back to work. The go live date is June 11. Are we ready? Absolutely not. Am I going to let that stress me out? Absolutely not. But I need to bust my arse though.

Did you do anything fun this week-end? What exciting stuff do you have coming down the pipe?

Take care, and until then, "stay thirsty my friends."

Smooches!

Caution: Flammable Liquid and Sharp Edges.

"Betrayal, though... Betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope"

Steven Deitz

I had a burst of energy this morning. Just out of nowhere. It feels good.

I realize I can be extremely mean if probed. And not regret one ounce of it.

I also realize it comes too naturally and too easy, almost like it's my default setting and I have to work at being nice.

Someone is trying to test it. Voluntary or not, the person might feel it and hard.

I didn't know I could get there that fast and for seemingly "nothing". But there are certain things I don't like to be crossed about. Especially when I am the one who gave you the tools. I can take them away just as quickly. And you will feel it. And you will know it.

There is a saying in my language: "Words are like water, once it's spilled you can never get it back". I agree with the saying. And choose my words carefully for this very reason. And mean all the words I speak. So I assume you do too.

Past revisionists are funny to me. The same thing happened to both of us, but now there is a different "perspective" on it? So I was not there? I have a memory for dates and events. You don't want to play that mess with me. I promise you. Either you are being extremely naive, or your arse is very condescending. I don't do either.

I see you've not listened to the tales. Kuddos to you. But maybe, just maybe, you should have paid attention. The "me with you" might be a mellow one... which doesn't mean the "me with them" is dead. Trust that on your life.

Never, ever confuse WANT with NEED. We NEED air, food, water. Nobody ever NEEDS anybody else. At least, not this chick. A strong want will never become a need. A need includes a want, but the reverse just isn't true. You've been warned.

The good part is I'll make it easy for you. Very easy. You won't even know what's happening. I told you I have a mean streak.... oh, I didn't? Ok, you'll find out soon enough.

Don't put your feet in shoes you can't fit.... nor buy breeches you can't wear. You'll be left arse out in the cold with your feet bleeding. Trust me, it's not pretty.

But "forewarned is forearmed".... so get ready to go to war. It will be a bloody good one.

Peace.

48 days later...

Time is the only thief we can't get justice against.
Astrid Alauda

Where...
...has Sula been?
I have been around. Trying to get my head out of water. Foolishly put too much on my plate as usual. School was overwhelming, I think I haven't fully committed my mind to the program yet. My organizational skills have not been up to par. The semester is over, but I'm left to pick up the other projects left in the dust. Like my professional projects. Another issue all of its own.
But mostly I've been around. I wanted to come online every day, but discipline became a need, and I couldn't justify spending time online when I was almost failing a class.

What...
...has Sula done?
Celebrated an awesome birthday. Competed in the triathlon. Enjoyed the visit of SulaMate. Went to Vegas for more celebration. Been sick as a dog. Been taken care of by loved ones. Missed crucial classes. Missed Blogville. Missed the launch of one of the greatest blogs: The African Women. Still did a lot of pub for the site. Missed deadlines at work. Lost some pounds. Then gained some back. Contemplated ending a 22-yr long friendship. Still thinking about it. Reconnected with old friends. Made new friends. Still owes Nigerian Drama Queen a post on Triathlon and triathletes. Signed up for another triathlon... and a 10K. Has yet to see a doctor. Promised SulaMate I will before the end of the month. Miss my baby sister and my daddy.
Been living life, I guess.

Why...
...has it taken 48 days for an update?
All of the above, plus I had to reevaluate why I was blogging in the first place. Was I escaping? Working through issues? Or merely playing ostrich and burying my head in the sand? Was I avoiding my life and living vicariously through myself (wkcite The Most Incredible Man in the World). I had to separate the hay from the good grain and proceed with the good grain. It took a while but I've finally found all the good grains in the haystack (or most of them). Being the Aries that I am, I always have incredible ideas and energy to start almost ANYTHING... what I struggle with again and again is dealing with the nitty gritty details of the follow through. I am glad I somewhat kept this blog up... but I am sensing that time to phase it out might come sooner than later... I have other ideas that I would like to see come to fruition... or maybe they'll just stay ideas and this blog will be the repository where all grand ideas come to die... As you can see, I haven't quite figured it out yet... but I'll be here until I do.

How...
... will Sula balance a schedule that is about to get crazier?
I don't know. Can prayer do that? I have thought about hiring a virtual personal assistant which spawned another great idea (which will see the light of day sometimes maybe? or anyone wants to launch it? I'll let them pay me a little fee if it goes well. :D)... I might really need one, like seriously. Right now, I am channeling my best organizational self and saying no to certain things*, rearranging priorities, accepting that most tasks will be tedious and not expect to have fun doing everything, some things will be boring and that's ok. I have to let go of the superwoman-can-do-everything thing and enjoy being a woman-that-can-do-some-things-very-well... Will it work? I pray it does. Short of a virtual assistant, I am out of ideas. Really.

When...
...will Sula update on the regular?
To be completely honest, I don't think that will ever happen. What I'll make a point in doing though is comment on your blogs on the regular. It will be my escape time of the day.

Until then, thanks to those who kept checking on me and all those nice messages.
Thanks to all the women at the African Women for checking on me. 9ja wordsmith even called me to check, you're so sweet. Blog god sis, thanks for checking on me. It was truly special. To everybody, you guys don't know how helpful your messages have been. I love my blog peeps.

Smooches, and see you sooner than later!



* Ok ,that's a lie, just this morning I signed up for a Louisiana trip next week-end, when I really don't need to. And I have signed up to give a religious lecture in a month, and, and... why can't I just say no? In fact, I think I am a crazy thrill seeker who is addicted to adrenaline rushes... I should probably bungee jump every week-end if it will prevent me from living such a crazy life. *sigh*

Murtaugh's List*...

Each ten years of a man's life has its own fortunes, its own hopes, its own desires.

-Goethe

Without further ado, let me introduce you to a list of things the 30-yr old moi is just too old to do/say/think.

1. I'm too old to be carrying around this crappy phone of mine.
Seriously my phone is crap. Ultimate crap. "You're in the middle of a convo and alladasuden it hangs up by itself" crap. I need a new phone like yesterday. Remember when I lost my phone last year? Yup. Since then, I was forced to use the crappy basic Nokia that came free with the line. But I was "supposedly" prioritizing my expenses and a phone just wasn't in the cards. It seems like I am still not done prioritizing. Or maybe I should just be honest with myself and that I'm cheap and/or lazy and that I expect someone to offer me a new phone? I don't know... but I'm copying Vera and accepting, lol. The Blackberry Bold is looking mighty scrumptuous.

2. I'm too old to keep putting off going to the doctor.
It's been.... wait for it.... seven years since I've properly seen a doctor... Yes, so my mom is one and she gives me "medical advice" here and there but she's a Pediatrician for chrissake! And her giving me advice shouldn't replace a good ole physician check-up... Everybody's been on my back about this and I know I need to get my act together, but I get so frustrated trying to find a good doctor that still accepts patients, or has open slots or this or that... I've only been to the doctor twice in the US.... I usually did a quick check-up while going home or to visit my sister in France. The way the system is set up here is so irritating to me... Hmmph! With me changing companies like clothes, it gets even more cumbersome. Ugh. I need a secretary to book the appointments and I promise to go... Any takers?

3. I'm too old not to care about my appearance in certain situations (running errands is the main culrprit)
Ok, this one is tricky... I like fashion and clothes and dress up when the occasion calls for it... But I'll admit that I'm that chick in sweaters at the grocery store and/or running errands. Heck, I even admit to not make a particular effort as far as work gear goes. There may be several reasons for this phenomenon:
-->I truly believe in putting the effort when I feel like it... people often tell me but you never know who you'll meet... Well, if I have to meet my soul mate, he better like me in those sweatpants! Lol!
--> I went to a catholic all-girl school where emphasis was really put on substance rather than appearance. They drilled it so far in our heads and it mostly did some good (confidence in who we are, importance of smarts, yadda yadda yadda), but it also had a secondary effect: style/clothing often comes at a low rank in priorities.
--> My dad has ALWAYS considered those things(clothing, hair and makeup) to be very frivolous and not worth too much time. He told me some version of what India.Arie's mom told her: "A lady is what she knows and not what she owns". I guess his words finally sunk in (at the wrong time. :))
--> Working in IT/Engineering... This tends to be a pretty male-dominated field, and subconsciously or not, most of the males assume pretty/fancy girls are not as smart... By ricochet, most of the women in the field tend to dress dowdy to be taken seriously... It's been a topic at many a Geek Girls dinner... (it's an actual organization and it rawks! :P)
--> I like that I look damn good when I glam it up... It keeps it interesting...
However, as Murthaugh famously says, I think I'm too old for that sh*t. And I'm making the promise to look decent even on small outings like quick trip to get some extra eggs for the crepes or something... or to go to the gym...

4. I'm too old not to be having s3x on the regular... GotDamnit!
...and that's all I would have to say about that... cause I can't really change it... I would invest in some GoodVibes stock if I was you though.... as I'm about to make them a boatload of money over the next couple of years... *rolleyes in desperation*

5. I'm too old to have silly, petty arguments...
...My best friend is supposedly not talking to me, she didn't call for my birthday while she's always the first one to call every year. Apparently, I made some remarks to her while we were in Boston that are making her "reconsider" the friendship... Funny thing is I had NO clue and still have none on what those "remarks" might have been. I am going to let her figure what she needs to figure out on her own. She sent me the email stating after I forwarded her a job offer I thought she would be great for... I figure sometimes people grow apart, and it would be ok if we did too... She's been transitionning for a while and might be dealing with other issues as well... I'm giving her space and hope she can come up with the conclusions she needs to come up with... Me? I'm too old for drama, passive-aggressive ish. If you have something to call me out on, do so and I'll listen and we'll talk about it. But don't try to try to passively/aggressively psycho-babble my a$$. It won't work. I've been where she is now, and I understand that sometimes we just want and need space... and space she shall have...

So that's it folks! My personal Murtaugh's list. My personal "I'm too old for that sh*t" list... This is just a first attempt at righting the many sins I've committed against myself in my twenties...

Soon, a flyer than fly Sula featuring a brand new, uber-cool cell phone, a stamped clean bill of health and no drama will be coming to a grocery aisle near you... Be afraid, be very afraid because she will still be horny as heck... :)

Have a blessed April's fool day and Happy Birthday to blogsville Queen of Sexy!

Smooches.

* This title is brought to you by one of the best shows on TV, How I met your mother. If you're not yet hip to it, get hip to it. It's worth it.

Older (and let's hope)Wiser...

Everyone is the age of their heart.
Guatemalan Proverb

I have had lots and lots of things to do. Not enough time to do it all.

Great things happened, and greater things on the way. I'm excited. I wish I had the time to share it all while it was happening. But I will... eventually.

I am writing another post more appropriate for this grand occasion (*wink, wink*). Will post it later on.

As I mused this morning, I realized how much has happened in the span of a year. It's unbelievable. Last year around this time, I was not the happiest person on earth. I made the most of what was happening but I was unhinged....

Anyways, while I'm finishing the birthday post, here are some oldies but goodies to tide you over.... you'll be able to appreciate the change I believe in... ;)

Enjoy!

Smooches.

Pride in OBV*

"The proper means of increasing the love we bear our native country is to reside some time in a foreign one"

William Shenstone

I was writing a post on gratitude/thankfulness when I received an FB wall post from a great friend of mine.

The godfather/commencement speaker for our senior high-school class has just been nominated as the next CEO for Prudential. He will be the first black CEO of an FTSE 100.

This is so big for me personally. I remember that our choice was not well received by everybody. At the time he was the CEO for a government company overseeing infrastructure projects (BNETD), and was known for his western style of governance. People said he wouldn't fork over enough money (which he didn't), but we chose him because he was sooo inspiring. He was smart, young, driven, had integrity and was just an all-around great guy.

After the party, he invited the organizing committee over to his house for dinner... and yours truly was of course part of the committee. His lovely wife (she's African-American actually) was the perfect host, and they were adorable. We talked to him about our big dreams and he told us to keep dreaming and to just believe in ourselves.

This week started with me wallowing in some drab mood and dragging my feet... And then I see stuff like that. Just put a little bit more wind under my wings.

I was reading another interview he gave in 2007. Some of his sentiments are exactly the way I'm feeling right now...

"It is very complicated when you live in a developed country and you are African," he says. "You see the issues there and I must say I always felt guilty. I felt there was a lot to do and I could contribute."

This captures so well the place I'm at right now. And that feeling has motivated my desire to move home (or to the continent at least) right after finishing the MBA.

"Africans can solve their own problems. What the outside world can do, is do no harm. The common agricultural policy is the biggest obstacle to Africa's development. I have always said I would trade any day the cancellation of every aid budget in the world for the cancellation of the subsidies for agriculture."

This has also been my mantra... and still is.

I just wanted to share with you guys. He's an inspiration to me and it's good to see young Africans doing their thing.

Go Tidjane!! :)

*OBV is short for Orange - Blanc (white)- Vert (green)... The colors of the Ivorian flag. (yeah I know it's the reverse of the Irish flag... Lol!)

Award Season

I have been nominated!!! Oh my gosh! Can you believe this?

You guys are the best and the greatest. I truly appreciate it. Here I was moaning about my crappy day and there I go and see my name.

I feel so special... ;) *does a little dance*

Now y'all know I'm in serious competition right? I mean Jarrai/Wordmerchant, ShonaVixen, Oyin? Get out of town! Like gosh, I don't even know who to vote for sef (yeah...right *wink*). ... But I believe y'all will know who to pick... right? right? That's right!

Anyways, just wanted to say thanks to all of you my Computer Friends ™ like The Enforcer aka TE would say!

Smooches!

You can check the list of nominees here!